I have You Are Empty, and I'm going to tell you about it

[level1900]

So, after a long wait I managed to get hold of this game and I was so curious to see if it was really that bad (it scored 1.5 on Gamespot and 2.1 on IGN), well... I say it classifies as 'hilariously bad', which is that kind of bad that makes it fun to play. If you're willing to read on, I'm going to walk you through the most stupid things contained in the first two levels. There's really not much of story in the game, but I may spoil something of it.

The game opens with a pretty nice and surreal 'papercut animation' intro showing a russian soldier waking up and going to work. On his way back home, he gets run over by a truck. Yes: run over by a truck. The game starts as he wakes up in an hospital room, the place is a mess, with crumbled walls and broken stuff all over, like after an heartquake. You walk around the rooms and get attacked by crazy moaning guys in straightjackets and busty zombie nurses who try to kick you right where men know it hurts the most. You grab a wrench and beat the crap out of them, then find a mouser pistol lying around (in an hospital?) and get attacked by fat street workers with pickaxes and screaming firemen with gas masks and fire axes! By now I was already laughing my butt off, because the game is convinced to be scary, while it looks more like a Benny Hill episode
As you proceed you find yourself under fire by some mouser-toting guys who look like a mix between The Mummy and Neo from The Matrix. Also, some cyborg dogs with wires and tubes sticking out attack you, running like crazy (but getting stuck in the scenery). Defeat a couple of these and you can steala car and leave the hospital.

Level 2 is an industrial farm where, for some reason, you'll find the same straightjacket guys from the hospital (maybe they followed you?). Some new enemies are introduced here, like Davy Crocket ripoffs (old men with a grey beard and a raccoon cap) whose shotgun you can take. Then we have skinny zombie women with sickles who attack you in groups and finally the giant turkey of doom! That's right: clucking blue turkeys as big as a T-rex cub will charge you, trying to peck you to death! At this point I was holding my belly and laughing to the tears, especially since you find a note where the farmer is concerned because the chicken are growing too fast. Remember, the game thinks it's supposed to be scary.

That's pretty much all I've seen so far. I think there's been an experiment or a virus who turned people into rage zombies or something, but I'm not too sure (that doesn't explain the giant turkeys anyway lol).
As I said: hilariously bad. I'll post more stupidity as I play the next levels.

Thanks for reading.

[Trey]

Giant turkeys? Sounds Crap-tacular!

[level1900]

It is craptacular. I played one more level and the enemy list grows with the hammer wielding demon railway worker, the rabid sewer rat, the nail gun carpenter, the flamethrower fireman (isn't that a contradiction?) and the cybernetic welder with an helicopter on his back.

Unfortunately the latter levels became way too heavy for my GPU (which by the way can handle Far Cry, F.E.A.R. and Painkiller no problem...), so I won't be able to play any more of the game, but fear not! Since it's a 2007 game, in 2010 I will upload it on 3DSL, so you can witness the terror of the giant turkeys.

[Scaryfun]

Sounds like fun.
There's a place for over-the-top silly games so some people may enjoy it.

[Lifeforce]

Its nice.I like the russian location,style and history which brings something new to the scene of horror games.There seem to be parallels to Czechs Bloodline because some monsters just look very familiar.Nice game to play.

[level1900]

I find really hard to define it a horror game, really, it's just that kind of poorly made horror that fails miserably, turning into unintended comedy.

An example of how horror games should be made is Call of Chtulhu: Dark Corners of the Earth, I restarted it a couple days ago (since I discovered how to bypass one of its game-breaking bugs) and it's scaring me to death, great atmosphere.

[Lifeforce]

I find really hard to define it a horror game, really, it's just that kind of poorly made horror that fails miserably, turning into unintended comedy..

I find it easy not to disagree with you here

Call of Chtulhu: Dark Corners of the Earth, I restarted it a couple days ago (since I discovered how to bypass one of its game-breaking bugs)

How does it work?`

BR

[level1900]

How does it work?

You mean the bug? Well, it's kinda ridiculous: at a certain point you activate some kind of moving bucket in a fatory and have to use it to be transported to another area, but the character will refuse to step on it unless you have closed a door on the other side of the level. Go figure that out lol